Going it alone?

Being a women in your 30’s brings up so many questions, many of which I didn’t even stop to think about in my 20’s, probably because, like many I was enjoying the moment rather than worrying too much about the future!

No one can predict the future, but at 38 I was genuinely worried that my chances of becoming a parent were slipping away, something that really scared me. So when I looked around the room of the fertility seminar that I attended at the clinic, I wondered how many other women found themselves there for the same or similar reasons?

My mind was already made up prior to that day, I knew that I wasn’t ready to give up on the idea that there was still time to meet my special someone. Someone that wanted the same things in life, including having a child and together, watching that child grow up. The option of IVF with a sperm donor just wasn’t something that I could get my head around, it seemed too final, too much like I had given up on my dream. To many this is the only option and you never know it may only be mine in the future, but I wasn’t willing to make that decision at that time. After all I had always hoped that I would bring a child into this world with the love and support of the baby’s father.

To anyone that is considering any form of fertility treatment, I can’t stress enough how comforting, but at the same time empowering I found the hour I spent in the company of these women.

I have no idea how many of the women were there in search of answers, reassurance, knowledge, or may be a combination of all 3, but one thing is for sure, all of us had one thing in common we didn’t ever think we would have ended up here!  I will never know whether their plans included the support of a partner, or whether they were going solo, but I will always remember the feeling I left the clinic with that day…… I wasn’t on my own!




  1. How thought provoking your blog is. It has made me realise how lucky I was to have my baby boy without any thought or agonising decisions. You’ve always been an amazing friend but, now your my hero as well. I commend your bravery for what you have done and if I could have an inch of your determination then I’ll be a better person

    1. Thanks hun, I wouldn’t have been able to make the decisions without the love and support of all my dear friends and family……here’s to the future and the many twists and turns that life brings. I’d love it if you would share my blog with friends and family, as I really hope it can help others!

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